I have 3 grown-up children. When they were little the youngest one was a whiner…..His two favourite sayings were “It wasn’t me” and “That’s not fair”.
The first was always met with disbelief. It wasn’t him who drew on the walls with felt tip ( or on his hands, his face and his clothes!!!) It wasn’t him who scratched the neighbour’s car with his plastic sword……Well it might have been but it wasn’t his fault!! He was aiming at the neighbour’s daughters and they moved 😱
So in punishing him for any of these I’d get the response “That’s not fair!”
Being the excellent mother I was, I’d read every childcare book printed and knew that I should take time to explain his actions and the reason for his punishment…..But I also knew he wouldn’t listen. So my response became “Life’s not fair so you’d better get used to it!”
And guess what? He has! Life has given him many a kick in the teeth and he still likes a little moan to get it off his chest…..Then he moves on.
Now he is my teacher. Often I feel life has thrown something at me that I didn’t “deserve”. It stole my “golden boy” my middle child who had everything going for him. It instead left me an adult who will always need support for mental illness. It stole my strong, healthy, kind dad and left me with a stumbling, trembling, shell of a man who had both Parkinson’s and a stroke in his early 50’s and passed away at 72.
It stole my sanity during a period of my life when I was being hit from all directions……and it almost stole my life too.
But…..as my son reminds me…..All around me people are going through their own tough times. Some will be going through more than others. Just because we don’t see them or hear about them doesn’t mean those people aren’t struggling. Life’s not fair and it’s ok to have a moan, to ask for help, to take yourself to bed when you’re just too exhausted to cope today….but don’t get caught up so much in the bad times that you don’t appreciate the good. They are always with holding on for. Life’s not fair but it’s wonderful ❤️