A blue boob and Pocahontas

How are the two connected? Well they’re not really except that they were both times when I ended up looking slightly crazy while trying to do the right thing.

Let’s start with the boob as I know that’s why you’re here.

Any woman who has found a lump in her breast knows the fear that courses through you…..But thankfully for 9 out of 10 of us those lumps will turn out to be something harmless. In my case they’re cysts. Once I found one and as usual made a GP appointment to have it checked out. Knowing how busy doctors are and wanting to make life simple I marked the spot with a big black x …..And went to work.

Later that day I explained to the GP why I was there and undressed for the examination telling her ( smugly) I’d marked the lump with felt tip…….What had started out that morning as a small neat black “x” was now a big blue smudge covering the whole of my breast! I have the most professional GP ever! She excused herself , left the room briefly then returned acting as if a blue boob was something she examined every day of the week 🙈

Pocahontas was again one of those times were things took an expected turn. I was a nursery teacher and we were having a fancy dress party at school- see straightforward so far).I decided to be Pocahontas and to wear my costume to and from school as I was going straight there and home…..I thought.

Getting there wasn’t an issue, the party went well and the children loved my costume. Then for the drive home.

Well, along the busiest road on my journey home, in rush hour traffic, I spotted a tiny dog running back and forward dodging cars and lorries and no-one was stopping! So I did….I stopped and I chased and I risked life and limb getting tooted at……but I got it safely back to its home were the owner snstched it from me without a word and closed the door in my face! I was livid. I went home and told my husband the whole sorry tale!

“I get why you’re annoyed” he said ” you see an ungrateful owner whose dog you saved…… However…….I see a woman who opens her door, sees a lunatic in war paint standing there holding her dogs so grabs it and gets herself and it safely inside and phones the police! The sight of you running around like that in broad daylight was likely to cause more accidents then the dog!”

Just as well I wasn’t in my pirate costume then 🤔

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