How to be the perfect housewife

I think after 32 years of being a housewife I have learned a few things worth passing on. You may thank me later πŸ‘

  1. Vacuum cleaners are dangerous. Never, ever try to see if something is blocking the suction while wearing a scarf…..Particularly if the vacuum has a revolving brush.
  2. Robot vacuums are not a great idea when you have pets. The hairs cause it to get quite unwell and if it ever meets up with a pet “accident” (particularly the number 2 kind) then you will have faeces scattered across floors, furniture and curtains. Seriously I thought my robot was having its own “dirty protest” 😷
  3. Mobile phones have very useful little torches which are great if you have a sudden power cut because you accidentally cut through a wire…….Unless it isn’t charged.
  4. NEVER use your torch on your mobile phone for trying to see what’s happening at the bottom of your water tank πŸ’¦
  5. Use a step ladder to change a light bulb…. don’t stand on the extending table…Especially not on one with a folding middle section.
  6. Inflatable hot tubs are best not used in the house ……Or at least if you must DON’T leave the hose running to fill it then go start something different 🌊
  7. If you don’t want to get your clothes painted while decorating wear an overall DON’T take them all off…….Or at least make sure there is no-one likely to be in the house πŸ™ˆ
  8. Don’t put the dinner on to cook then go out to take the dogs a “quick walk”,if the weather is good and you are easily distracted πŸ”₯
  9. All those little tubes you find on your washing machine have a purpose. If you take the machine apart for any reason and have a spare tube when you put it together again DON’T turn it on 🌊
  10. And as I’ve intimated already in another post but will repeat as it is so important …..When throwing old furniture out of upstairs windows ALWAYS check if there’s anyone below first 😱

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