The horror of going to the loo after your guests have used it and finding that the cat food you thought you’d flushed down it earlier is still floating suspiciously in the bowl 😳
The look on the face of the delivery man standing outside your door as you are screaming abuse while on your hands and knees cleaning the floor…… wearing an Eeyore onesie……whilst a 10 stone Newfoundland ( the canine version not a slim Canadian) is attempting to hump you. Multi-tasking at its not so finest.
The face of the vet when she realises that your huge handbag is in fact a very large leopard tortoise which you’d like her to examine.
The face on the other vet when the tumour you’re concerned about under the tail of your little poodle cross is in fact a dangling turd.
Having to repeatedly apologise to your neighbour because the Newfoundland had yet again managed to escape and was once more paddling in his fish pond
The disbelief on the face of the policeman who comes to the door with that same Newfoundland who was causing an obstruction on the road ……..And you tell him you didn’t notice he was missing.
The disgust on the faces of your husband and son when the Newfoundland (again) goes missing one Sunday morning so you have them trekking fields and climbing fences to find him…..Then you tell them you’d better let your daughter know as she was going to take him to the beach……..and only at that point you notice his lead and harness are also missing.
The terror you feel when you discover the Newfoundland ( him again) has eaten all your boxer’s beef-flavoured heart medication ……And your vet informs you they’re a bit like Viagra…….. “so don’t be bending over in front of him for a few days”
The embarrassment when you’re out with your daughter and her puppy /your ex foster pup and you realise that the small child is not do much excited by the puppy greeting him but distraught by the fact that the puppy has just stolen his Cornish pasty.
The heartache you feel each time you have to say goodbye to a much-loved companion who you could never have enough time on this earth with 🌈
55 on the outside but 10 yr old daydreamer who loves dogs, onesies and dancing in fields in wellies on the inside but is glad to be old enough to drink alcohol and to eat chocolate and ice cream whenever I want
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